My DiaryLand Diary

2009-11-11 - 9:26 a.m.

Wow, and I told mysel I'd NEVER be one of those who hadn't posted in more than three months. Instead, I waited for FOUR months. I'm so sorry.
Wow, so much has happened. I've been in the hospital with pneumonia--and I still have it. The doctor says it may be 2-3 months before it's cleared up. In the meantime, I get tired very, very easily.
But, I am happy. You see, I started a new job last week. Same place, still writing, but a different boss--and that makes a world of difference!!! Things are going well and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from me.
My birthday was last week, too. It was a nice one. Andy lives about an hour away now, but he came up for my birthday dinner with my family. Scott came, too. We went to a very nice restaurant that serves both German and American food. We all chose German, and it was great.
Well, I started this entry a couple of hours ago and have been distracted with work several times since then. Something tells me I'd better just work!
Take care, and in case I don't write again in awhile, have a wonderful holiday season.

2009-07-07 - 9:08 p.m.

Sorry I've been such a slacker. The problem is, I've discovered Facebook, and I just write a quick paragraph and then make comments on friends' pages, and I don't take the time to write here or in LiveJournal much anymore.
Things are going well, though. I just got back from a trip to Colorado, where my friends' daughter got married. I met up with a couple of other friends, and we had a great time hanging out together at Estes Park, in Denver, etc. Wow, it's gorgeous there.
I had a few days at home before going back to work yesterday. One day, I painted pottery with friends at a local place called Fired Up. A friend I reconnected with on Facebook came for a visit. He's a former co-worker and we had a great time together.
Tonight, I went with my Mom to see "The Proposal." I really enjoyed it--Sandra Bullock is one of my favorite actresses, and so is Mary Steenbergen. It just has a really great Friday is Andy's birthday--it doesn't seem possible that he'll be 26. That's how old I was when I got married--and I thought I was so mature then.
Anyway, hello, everyone. I've been checking in and reading everyone's diaries. I just haven't been good about writing in my own.
Take care!

2009-05-09 - 9:13 p.m.

No! It can't have been 71 days since I've updated.
I hang my head in shame.
Thing sare going fine here. Well, I'm still not happy with my boss, and now, my co-worker is leaving. He's even leaving hte area, which makes it even harder. Sad thing is, he's getting married, but if things had been better with my boss, they probably would have settled here instead of where she lives. Sigh.
But, other than that, things are good. I've gotten into Facebook, which has been fun.
I check in with you guys--I just haven't taken time to write. I thought I'd let you know I'm still alive and well.

2009-02-27 - 9:56 a.m.

I decided it's time to get serious and get healthy, and I made arrangements for a personal trainer at the new rec center at work. We had our first session last night. I really like him. We started slow, and I just think he'll go at a pace I can keep up with. Afterwards, I met some friends for dinner. We had been chatting awhile, and one of them said, "So, tell us about your personal trainer."
I start to tell what we did, when one of them piped up and said, "What I want to know is, is he cute?"
I LOVE my friends.
And yeah, he is! I know my friends on here would want to know, too.

2009-01-26 - 9:37 p.m.

Just thought I'd fill you in on my life.
Things at work have been crappy. I work for a control freak, and for the past week, I've been working on a project she's not in charge of. She made life for me hell last week because I wasn't working on her stuff. It's like she thinks I should be doing this at night as if I'm freelancing. Only I'm not, and I AM going to work on this during the day. Yes, I tood it home at night, too. For some freaking reason, it bothered her that I wasn't staying in over the lunch hour or after work...but if it works better for me to take work home, what should it matter to her? I find I'm far more productive taking breaks at luncha nd right after the work day. I think that holds true for most people.
She's just one of those people who, if you're not doing things her way, then you're doing it wrong. She was better today, thank goodness, and there's a possibility she'll be gone tomorrow. Keeping my fingers crossed.
I tried to chill out over the weekend, though I have to admit my thoughts were going back to all the crap she'd been giving me during quiet times, like when I should be sleeping.
I did have a nice weekend despite it all. Friday night, I went to some friends for dinner. There were eight of us, and we played Apples to Apples after dinner. I LOVE that game!
Saturday, I went car shopping with Andy. He totaled his car the Saturday before, but fortunately wasn't hurt at all. We had a lot of blowing and drifting snow, and on his way home, as he was taking the exit off the interstate, he hit a drift with an icy patch and spun around the car, hitting the guard rail on the passenger rear. When the autobody guy got to $6,100 worth od damage, he stopped saying he was sure the car would be totaled. And, indeed it was. We did some wheeling and dealing and ended up with a great deal...we even got them to throw in some tire rotations and oil changes because they were having trouble being able to match a price at another dealership. Andy ended up with a 2008 Escape program vehicle. It's white with gold pinstripes--very cool. He's very excited about it.
Saturday night, we all rode up to the Bradley basketball game in his new Escape. And Bradley won!
sunday afternoon, I helped at a Relay for Life kick-off event where all the teams in our town came together to serve a chili lunch and also had tables with fundraising items. It was a fun event, and it always feels good to be working for a good cause. I'm not sure yet how much we raised--all the proceeds from the chili lunch are divided among all the teams who helped. Since the food was all donated, though, we should have done pretty well. So far, we've raised $2,400 over the past six months. We've had euchre tournaments and a shopping trip--it's cool to be able to raise funds while having so much fun.
Anyway, that was my weekend. Oh, and today over lunch, i went to see my friend who was paralyzed in a work accident two days after Christmas. He is doing so well. His attitude is fantastic, his physical therapy is coming along great, he is eating well...he sould be able to go home a couple weeks. They're still holding out hope that he will regain use of his legs someday--and if anyone will, he will.
Well, that pretty much brings you up to date. Hope all is well with you!

2009-01-14 - 8:49 p.m.

I just wanted to let you know things are progressing very well for my friend Perry. He had back surgery last Friday, and it went well. He started therapy on Monday, and after two days, his doctor says he's progressing so well that instead of 6-8 weeks of therapy, he will probably need only 3 weeks of therapy. I am so happy for him and his family!
I've been home today with the stomach flu, but I'm feeling better tonight. Overall, things are good. Tomorrow night, we're going to see Spam-a-Lot. I saw it in Chicago and hadn't planned to go, but when they offered tickets for just $20.09, we couldn't resist.
Friday night, we're having a Relay for Life euchre tournament in my building, and on Saturday, I'll be going with Scott ot visit friends in Bloomington.
The weather is getting ridiculous...we're supposed to have 30 below wind chill factors out there. Since I haven't been out all day, I can't speak to that. I just hope it doesn't get as bad as they predict.
Not much else to tell...I'll try to check in again before too long.

2009-01-14 - 8:49 p.m.

2008-12-29 - 11:15 p.m.

I wanted to ask for prayer for my friend Perry, who was injured in a work accident on Saturday. He is an ironworker and was repairing a furnace in a foundry when one of the huge furnace door closed down on him, crushing him. He has spinal cord damage, broken ribs, spleen damage, and has lost the feeling in his legs. He has had three surgeries: one ot repair a tear in his aorta, one to close off a vein that was causing internal bleeding, and a third exploratory surgery today because they ar eunable to do an MRI and wanted to make sure they had taken care of any internal injuries they could before they start on his back. His stomach is protruding, so that must go down before they can do any surgery on his back. They're hoping to do that in a few days if he responds well. He is conscious and remembers everything that happened. He will be in the hospital for months. He has a wonderful family, who I know will be supportive all the way. It's just so sad to see this. I'm going to the hospital tomorrow. I won't be able to see him, but I can see his family.
I can hardly believe this...I just saw him on Christmas Eve at our church service. Then this...wow.
He is strong, and he's a fighter, and they are a family of deep faith. Things are more hopeful than they were a couple days ago...I couldn't even write about it then.
Please, please pray for him.

2008-12-23 - 9:49 p.m.

Merry Christmas, Everyone!
I haven't had too much to report. Life is good, but nothing really new or different has happened. I've been enjoying getting together with friends and family and will be having Christmas Eve dinner at my house. It will be an eclectic group. My, hmmmm, probably 3rd or 4th cousin, I'm never sure how you count all that--and his son are coming over; a friend from church who is going through a divorce and her husband has the kids on Christmas Eve is coming; my family is coming; and I have invited Scott and Eugene, though I haven't heard if they'll be coming. It sould be fun, though. We don't exchange gifts on Christmas Eve in my family, so the interesting combination should work fine. It will be all about being together and celebrating the love that came down to be among us. It seems appropriate to invite some who would otherwise be alone on this very special night.
Have a very Merry Christmas!

2008-11-12 - 3:11 p.m.

Sorry for the lapse in entries.
My birthday was November 3, and it seems like I've been celebrating pretty much all month! My actual birthday was a rather small celebration--just Andy and me, but that made it probably one of the best birthdays ever. He wanted to take me out for dinner, but I didn't want him to spend too much because he's still in college. We compromised. I had gotten a coupon for a free birthday dinner form Flat Top, so we went there. Andy got by with just buying his own dinner that way. Afterwards, we went to a college basketball game and had a great time. We sat with some of my friends from work--some of the younger set who Andy knows, too, and had a great time
On Friday, a group of us at work went out for lunch for my birthday. Then, this past Monday night, Scott took Andy and I out for dinner to celebrate. We went back to his place afterwards and played South Park Uno. It was fun--if a Dead Kenny card was played, you had to draw until you got a card with his picture on it. I had quite a handful several times, but I loved it!
Last night, my family celebrated. We went to dinner, then to my Mom's house where we played Apples to Apples. We had waited to celebrate because Mom had been sick last week. We had a lot of fun together. And if you've never played Apples to Apples, I highly recommend it! Another game I would like to get is Bananagrams. We play that during lunhch at work sometimes. It's a fast-paced word game. I guess you get it at Barnes & Noble. I need to put it on my Christmas list!
I am in the middle of one of those weeks where I have something going on every night. I am leading a faith sharing session at church. They tried to get as many people as possible to participate in one of these sessions, and my group has been great. I need to rush home after work tonight, though, and finish reading the chapter. I have until 7:30--at least, it will be fresh in my mind! Before, though, I've gotten read in plenty of time. This week and weekend were so busy, though.
Tomorrow night, we're going to see a community theatre production of "Forever Plain." Friday night is a a basketball game, and Saturday, my sister Diane and I are going on a bus trip to see "Dirty Dancing." This play is premiering in Chicago before it goes to NYC, so that's kinda cool. Hopefully, I can crash some on Sunday before starting into another week.
Oh, and at work, my duties have shifted somewhat, and I'm pretty excited about it. I'll be working with some other people, and anything that gets me away from my boss some is a good thing, i my book.
Well, that's about all the news I have. Take care!

2008-10-24 - 11:21 p.m.

Our town has hit the big time!
A relatively busy street in my town of 30,000 is closed to thru traffic. Bright lights are blazing 24/7. A family in our town is having an "Extreme Makeover!"
And talk about extreme--they've torn down the house and starting over! It's not that the house was in that bad of shape, but the makeover is being done to make the house accessible for a little boy who suffers from brittle bone disease and dwarfism. He's about 8 years old, and he dreams of the day he can use the bathroom by himself.
His bones are so brittle that even pushing an elevator button can cause his bones to break.
Anyway, they're rebuilding the house to make it accessible for him.
A friend at church knows this family. The father is a special education teacher and coach, and they have had 27 foster children, in addition to their own three. They focus on having special needs children in their home, and they adopted this little boy. I guess he has been telling his mom for three years that they would be getting an "Extreme Makeover," adding, "whenever Ty has time."
It's really neat to see this happening. The only sad thing is, since this was a decent house, I wish they could have moved it somewhere for someone else to use. But then, they probably wouldn't have been able to do that in a week.
Anyway, it's way cool.
I've been home from work the last couple of days. I've been battling a nasty sinus infection, and the doctor prescribe antibiotics the other day and toldme to come in if I wasn't better by today. I wasn't, so I went in.
I have acute bronchitis and acute sinusitis. He told me not to go back to work before Monday, telling me the stress of work is not good for recovering. He gave me another antibiotic and a nasal spray. I haven't been coughing all evening, which is definitely a step in the right direction. I sure wish I could get some relief from my sore throat, though.
Anyway, speaking of getting some rest, I should go to bed.
Have a good weekend.

2008-10-08 - 2:00 p.m.

Wow, I see it's been "26 days" since I last updated. I'm so sorry, friends. Life has been good, and so much happened in the past month. Let's see, the past month. Well, I can't remember if I told you about my eye surgery. It wasn't really surgery on the eye--it was eye lift surgery, which was done because my right eye was drooping so much that it was impacting my range of vision. I was home recovering a few days--had a lovely "mummy" patch on at first, but the surgery went well, and I was amazed at first at how much I was seeing--especially when driving down the highway. Plus, it doesn't look like my right eye is always closed in pictures! I don't wink that much!!!
The highlight of the past month has definitely been a trip with my sister to the Big Apple. Neither of us had ever been to NYC before, and we absolutely loved it all. We enjoyed the sites--even got a lump in my throat when I saw the Statue of Liberty, and we ABSOLUTELY loved Broadway. We went to three very diverse plays while we were there: Young Frankenstein, Little Mermaid, and spring Awakening. While Spring Awakening was the most socially redeeming of the three, my favorite was definitely Young Frankenstein. I've been enjoying the soundtrack for several months now, and after seeing the play, I enjoy it even more. We had a fabulous hotel just a few blocks from the Empire State Building, which also was way cool to see. It was an absolutely perfect trip, and I feel so blessed that I have gotten to go on so many wonderful trips these past few years: Alaska, Hawaii, Cancun, and many others. I feel so fortunate to have friends and families inviting me to go to all these places and always, always, always having such a good time. Some in my family are wanting to go on a cruise in the Greek Isles next year, but I'm afraid that one might break the bank. I think I'd rather take several "smaller" trips, but I'll see how it all shakes out.
The day after we returned from New York, I went with friends to the Fine Art Fair on the Riverfront. I found some cool gifts for me to give and also some to receive from family members who like for me to buy things when I see them and they reimburse me. When it comes to this beautiful art, I find ways to add one more thing. I'd like to take down some of the old art I have in my house at some point--they're remnants from another life, and my tastes have definitely changed. I was talking with some friends who said they're ahead of me in the process. They've taken down the art work but have it stored in their basement. That's not an option for me with a crawl space. Maybe if and when Andy gets a place of his own, he'll like it as a piece of home. We'll see.
Speaking of Andy, he moved back home and is commuting to class and his internship three days a week. The friend he was sharing an apartment did the "move in" thing with a love interest when their lease was up, and he just decided that for the few months until he graduated, it wouldn't be worth getting another apartment. Can't say as I blame him. So, here came a bunch of his stuff back. He got most of it put away over his weekend, which is Monday and Tuesday. (He now works at Ruby Tuesdays' on weekends.) Andy and I have a good time together, and I feel really good about where we are. There was a time when he didn't talk much about things. He was fine with me, I just didn't know what he was thinking. I guess that was his form of rebellion. Whatever, he's past it, adn I feel very close to him. I will definitely miss him when he's gone.
On the other hand, it's nice having the house to myself sometimes, and it would be nice if he helped out more than he does. But, I don't push it. It's nothing I can't handle, and I'm just glad that his idea of home is with me.
Andy and I will be going to Iowa on Friday. One of his best friends--one he's been close to since second grade--is getting married on Friday night, and we're heading to Iowa to be there. Andy will be one of the groomsmen. It should be fun!
While many couples send "save the date" cards, I didn't get one for David's wedding and I wasn't exactly sure of the date when I made plans to go to Chicago to see "Jersey Boys." I'll get back late Friday night and will turn around and leave for Chicago early Saturday morning. We should have a little time to shop and have lunch before the matinee that day. So, this should be a fun weekend!
Besides all the things I've mentioned, I've been going to other community theatre plays with friends and family, meals and movies with friends, playing euchre with friends, and in general, enjoying life.
There's a new guy I met playing online Scrabble about a week ago. We'll see how it goes--it's too early to tell. He's from Toronto, and his wife died of cancer about six years ago. We really hit it off, and we'll just have to see. He says he's a big Lincoln buff and has been wanting to come to Springfield to see the new Lincoln Museum. So maybe we'll get to meet....that's only an hour or so from where I live; it's where Andy goes to school.
Oh, and then there's the guy I met online who turned out to be married. He reappeared on the scene a couple of weeks ago. I really like this guy, but once I learned he was married...there's just no way I can do that. I told him so AGAIN in an email last weekend, but he IM'd me yesterday. I may have to block him. I just wish we could be friends, but maybe that's impossible.
Anyway, I'd better get back to work. I just wanted to update you all on my life. I do update more regularly at nutrageous1103.livejournal.com. I even have some pics from my NYC trip.
Hugs to all of you!

2008-09-11 - 11:06 p.m.

Just stopping by to say hi. I had surgery on my eyelid on Monday...I had a droopy right eye, and that was impacting my range of vision. My eye is still swollen and black and blue, so it's hard to know yet how I will actually look, and how much more I'll see, but it's healing. I'll be glad when the stitches come out next Tuesday.
Everything is going well for me. Life is good. I'm busy with friends and family. I'd still like to meet someone special, but in the meantime, I'm doing fine.
I've gotten some bad news about a couple of people I know in the past week, though. One of my friends in my adult Sunday School class announced she has breast cancer last week. She learned this after a routine mammogram, and she had just learned so wasn't sure yet of the whole procedure ahead of her. Cancer is such a wicked thing, though, and even though her faith is strong and SHE is strong, I hate to see her have to go through this.
There's a man with special needs at our church who also has cancer. He has acute leukemia complicated with pneumonia. I learned tonight that they are not going to give him treatments. I don't know if that's because he has pneumonia and can't endure the treatments, or if it's because he doesn't understand the full scope of what he'd be going through. I have a friend whose father had cancer, and they were going to give him treatments, but when he went in for a doctor's visit, he no longer was "with it' enough to understand what would be happening. The doctor said full cooperation was absolutely necessary, and if he didn't understand what was going to happen, then they could not treat him. So, I don't know. This guy is probably in his mid-60s. He's a neat guy, but he definitely doesn't know what's going on. He is a bagger at a local grocery store and told one of his co-workers before he was hospitalized, "They think I might have leukemia. I guess that's going around."
Well, I've been trying to go to bed at a decent time this week--I figure I need my rest so I can heal properly. I had a nice time going to dinner with a friend tonight, then we shopped around the local Hallmark store. I love fall and looking at decorations and smelling all the fall scents they carry in candles. Maybe it's because I'm a November baby, but fall is definitely my favorite time of year.
Have a wonderful weekend.

2008-08-25 - 2:20 p.m.

I want to apologize for my lack of entries lately. Everything is going well, and even though I check in to read diaries fairly regularly, I haven�t been nearly as faithful about writing my own entries. I apologize for that.
August has been a great month for me�the weather has been beautiful around here, mostly in the 70s and low 80s. Now, this is how summer is supposed to be! Andy and I took a quick trip to Dallas at the beginning of the month. We had a great time. Some highlights of the trip included accidentally crashing a party box at the TexasRangers game; hearing this guy tell the usher, �You must be Republican� as if that�s the vilest comment he could make to someone; also at the game; seeing the Grassy Knoll, the Sixth Floor Museum, and other related JFK stuff; going to an awesome aquarium that qualifies more as a mini-zoo with this awesome rainforest you walk through; going to a Brazilian steakhouse�what an experience; visiting Fort Worth, which my Mom has said �was nothing more than an old cow town;� and visiting the Oklahoma City bombing site on the way home. We had a really great time talking and just spending time together�all in all, a great trip!
I�ve also gotten to hang out with many of my friends and have gone to a couple of plays. My sister and I have been making plans for New York next month. It will be the first time for both of us, and we�re excited. So far, we have tickets to Young Frankenstein, the Empire State Building, etc. We can hardly wait.
This past weekend was especially fun. Andy�s girlfriend�s dad is chair of the Democrat committee for his county and got VIP seats for Andy and Erica at the Obama rally in Springfield where he announced Joe Biden as VP. Some of Andy�s friends actually saw him in the crowd on CNN. Unfortunately, I was recording it on MSNBC. I had to leave right before Biden came on stage but had gone with MSNBC because of all the coverage they were giving earlier in the day, when CNN was covering all sorts of different news. Oh, well�even though we don�t have him on camera in our recording, it�s still pretty exciting that he got to go. Andy�s was chuckling at the reaction from one of his friends, who said, �She got you VIP seats? Marry her now! If you need money for a ring, just let me know!�
Erica�s parents didn�t go, because they were on their way to the Democratic Convention in Denver. Erica�s mom is a delegate. Since Obama is from Illinois, the Illinois delegation will probably be in the front. So, she may be seen on camera, too. I haven�t met her, though, so I won�t even know her if I see her.
Anyway, while Andy was at a political rally, I was on a road rally. A new member of our church is involved with the Great Race and planned out a course for us to follow. We had a great time. Our car�s time was off by just four seconds! Still, that only got us second place�one car was off by one second. We ended up at a really cool restaurant with a filling station/old-fashioned car showroom theme. The food was great and the restaurant was fun. On the way home, we stopped by a Hot Air Balloon Festival. Scott and I used to go all the time when we were married, and I hadn�t been back since the divorce. I�m a big hot air balloon fan�I swear, I�m going to ride in one before I die�so I really enjoyed it. I even have new wallpaper on my cell phone with a photo from the balloon glow they had as it was getting dark.
On a more personal side, in recent months, my online dating has been a flop. One guy tried to scam me, another guy, as it turned out, was married. There�s this one guy who I�ve known for about two years now�we play online Scrabble together. He and his wife have a polyamorous relationship. After the scammer guy thing, this guy has wondered about us �getting together.� He lives in Pennsylvania, so this can�t be a casual date. It would be an intense weekend of togetherness, and you know what that would mean.
I have seriously considered this because I just know he would be a fabulous lover, and let�s face it, while I love my life and all the things I get to do, it sure would be nice to have some intimacy again. You get to a point where you almost feel out of touch with humanity�there�s no one close enough to share your soul with the way you do in an intimate relationship, and I miss that a lot. On the one hand, we have talked a lot, I know he�s a genuinely nice guy who I relate to well, but on the other hand, what I want more than anything is a monogamous relationship with someone who loves me and only me, and I feel the same way. Still, for in the meantime, it�s tempting at times. What I wish more than anything is that someone would come along and sweep me off my feet, and I wouldn�t even be giving a relationship like this a second thought, but after six years, one begins to wonder. I know the potential of being hurt is there, even though he wouldn�t intentionally hurt me and has been nothing but completely honest with me. He has wanted this for awhile, and I�ve just kept the thought at bay. But it�s been creeping into my mind a lot lately. (I should point out that whenever he or his wife become involved with someone knew, they always have their spouse at least talk to the person and are very upfront about such things.)
I have to say that on Saturday, I saw this guy who is the brother of a friend of mine and who got a divorce a couple years ago. (This is a friend of mine from church; not someone I hang out with a lot, but we are in the euchre group together.) He was taking his nieces and nephew out for lunch, and we talked for awhile. He seems so sweet and easy-going, and I couldn�t help but wonder what if� I�m tempted to say something to my friend. What have I got to lose, after all? This is where my lack of confidence because I�m overweight comes into play. I know I have to get over that, because if there�s anything I�ve learned in the last year or so, it�s that many guys find me very attractive. And I know this guy genuinely seemed happy to talk to me. I think what I might do is email my friend and tell her I saw her brother on Saturday and that if he�d ever like to just go to Starbucks or somewhere like that and just talk, I�d like that, too. I�d want her to know that I don�t want him or her to feel awkward if he�d rather not, but it�s just that we�ve seen each other a couple times in recent months and I just enjoy talking to him�whether it would become a friendship or something else on down the road.
What do you think?

2008-07-10 - 9:42 a.m.

I've had a few postings over at nutrageous1103.livejournal.com

Please read me there, and I promise, the next posting will be here on Diaryland!

2008-06-25 - 3:24 p.m.

Well, things are still funky with the boss, but today is a good day--she took the day off to go on a college visit with her daughter. And I'm taking Friday off for our Relay for Life event, then she's on vacation all next week. So, if we can get through tomorrow, all will be good for awhile. I could ramble on about the whole thing, but frankly, I'm tired of thinking about it. My co-workers and I have hashed and re-hashed things enough. Last night, I couldn't sleep after talking to Justin about a conversation he had with her last night when she cornered him as he was leaving. Sigh.
Other than work, though, things are going well. I've lost 22 lbs. in the last couple of months and am feeling really good about that. I bought a new skirt last weekend and wore it today. I've been getting all kinds of compliments on it. I don't wear skirts very often, and I kind of forget how much fun it is to look all girly (sometimes). I've been going to work out every night this week, too, which is great after last week when I was sick with a bronchitis/pneumonia-type thing and I didn't feel up to it. It's amazing how working out makes me feel good about myself, too. I do most o fmy working out in the pool--I have a class on Mondays and Wednesdays, then do my own routines on the other days. My workouts have been especially good with the recent work stress. it really helps me unwind.
Last night, some friends and I went to a community theatre production of "The Odd Couple." Before the play, we went to dinner at a restaurant where we could eat outside on the patio. This community theatre production is in an outdoor tent theatre, and it was a beautiful evening to be outside all night. I hope the weather is as nice for our Relay for Life event Friday night.
This past weekend, I went to a different community theatre production of "The Producers." I have had the soundtrack for years, but this was the first time I had seen the play. It was a lot of fun.
On Saturday, we went to a mass handbell concert that involved handbell choirs from five states. It was in our Civic Center and was really awesome. I guess I've probably mentioned here that I play in a handbell choir at church. Scott directed the choir in our pre-divorce days. We had another director for a number of years, then didn't play for a year or two. Last fall, we got a new director and began playing again. I really do enjoy playing the bells.
I also went to a couple family gatherings with Scott's family over the weekend. This is the rush of birthdays for them. Scott brought Eugene--I really like Eugene a lot. He and I were partners against Scott and Andy in euchre on Sunday night and won two games. He's reach out for a high five every time we won a hand. I felt kinda bad for Scott, because he had been beaten badly a few nights before when he and Eugene were playing against Andy and Scott's dad. But then, Scott and I had been partners on Father's Day, and he was complaining even though we won because I got two loners in one game. I'm thrilled whenever my partner gets a loner; it doesn't matter to me that I'm not the one playing it. I think Scott likes playing the "poor me" role.
I have to say, I'm so glad to see Scott bringing Eugene around at times other than Christmas. I think getting to know him during more "every day" times just makes it a lot more comfortable. I think it would be more comfortable for Eugene, too. I have to say Eugene makes sure to give me a hug when he sees me, and we have just gelled--like last Sunday, we ended up going downstairs together to get drinks for everyone from the fridge down there. He was asking me some stuff about Scott's little quirky likes and dislikes. I know outsiders might think it's strange for me to be talking to Scott's boyfriend about such things, but with Eugene and me, it seems very natural. I'm so glad he feels comfortable asking me stuff, and, I don't know, we just understand each other. I feel like he and I have quickly become friends.
As far as my own love life goes...ugh. Now, in addition to having a married guy who wanted to have an affair, I can also say I've had a guy try to scam me. I'm no longer answering his phone calls, emails or IMs--maybe he's FINALLY getting the hint. He's called as much as 12 times in one evening. I just don't take kindly to guys asking if I can loan them money for a lost work laptop.
So, I'm staying away from Plenty of Fish for awhile and hoping that as I slim down, I'll be catching the attention of some local guy I randomly meet somewhere.
A girl can dream...
And in the meantime, I'm enjoying my life. I love my house and the way I've fixed it up lately, I love my kitty Ginger, I love having Andy home every weekend, I love all the good times with friends and family, and I love my alone time. If I get a nibble on a job application I submitted, or even better, if my boss miraculously decides to quit, life would be perfect. Until then, life is OK, too. I am content with my life; I just hope that someday, I can feel total bliss.

2008-06-02 - 10:13 p.m.

I'm just going to vent for a little while here. I don't say much about it, but my boss is a micro-manager who can dredge drama out of nothing.
Last Friday was hell. Pure hell. My friend Aimee has decided to quit. I wish I had that option--it's truly that bad. Believe me, I've been pouring over the classifieds snd every website I can think of, hoping against hope that there would be something that would be a good fit for me.
The scary thing is that in this economy, jobs are scarce. Add to that the fact that I have wonderful insurance, and I'm at an age where insurance matters. Factor in that I love the university where I work and what I do, and i feel like I am in such a bad spot.
What she did last Friday was ridiculous and demoralizing, and...sigh...I just don't know what to do.
At least I had a great weekend despite all of that. I had some friends over for a luau on Firday night. On Saturday, I met a friend for breakfast and went to a baby shower. And Sunday, i went to visit my college friends whose daughter was having a graduation party. We had a fantastic time and are looking forward to next month, when the son of one of my friends is getting married (and there's open bar all evening...) Talk about college days revisited!
Well, anyway, I really have to seriously be thinking about what I'm going to do job-wise. I mean, no one should be treated the way we were on Friday, and the hell of it all is that I know from the Tom days that there would be no support from the head of the department. And if I talk to my boss, she holds grudges, never forgets, and twists things like you wouldn't believe.
Sh here I am, hoping and praying for an answer to this dilemma.

2008-06-03 - 10:13 p.m.

2008-05-28 - 10:38 a.m.

Whoa! Something funky is going on...my buddy list says I haven't updated in more than 3 months. I know I've been a slacker, but I added an entry just last week.
According to my buddy list, sixweasels is the only non-slacker in the bunch She added an entry yesterday, so I'm hoping this brigns me up to date!
Whew! the pressure of it all. Now, what do I write about? I guess I haven't written a lot lately because life is good, but pretty mainstream, and I don't have a lot to talk about that I think people would want to hear about.
I do have a little good news in tht I've met a very sweet man on the Internet. He's from Ohio and is in England right now on business, but we've been chatting every day, usually several times a day, since he's been gone. I am trying to guard my heart, as my luck with Internet dating has not exactly been stellar. Of course, it beat the dating I've done offline, which is ZERO.
I'm pretty excited about my house these days. I had new windows and doors put in earlier this year, and last week, I got new carpet and new living room furniture. I just love to stand in the living room/dining room area and take it all in. Several friends have stopped by to seem my new look--I'm just so happy to show it off!
Friday night, I'm having a luau dinner party with a few friends. Should be fun!
And, tonight, is euchre night with friends. I do well at euchre until prizes are involved. Then, forget it. Oh, well--I always have a great time.
Well, I'd better get back to work. Happy Wednesday!

2008-05-21 - 10:38 p.m.

Sorry it's been so long since I've written. I had a great vacation in South Carolina last week. We had a mini-family reunion with my Mom, sister, Andy, and me flying out to Charleston to meet up with my aunt, cousin, and her son. We rented a beach house on Folly Beach and had a FABULOUS time. We did lots of sightseeing, spent some time on the beach, and played cards every evening. It was perfect.
Things have been going well for me. I've joined Weight Watchers and a gym and I'm losing weight and toning. Yesterday, four people commented on my weight loss! One of my co-workers even commented on how happy I seem. I really am happy. i think I've finally got it together.
In the past, May has been a hard month for me. Tomorrow is the sixth anniversary of our divorce, but I didn't even think about that until a few days ago. And now, instead of feeling sad about it, I just feel...free. Saturday will be the fifth anniversary of my Dad's death, and even though I miss Dad a lot, I find myself looking back more and more on my memories of him not with sadness because he's gone, but happiness because he was my Dad. I was a very lucky girl...and woman...to have my Dad as my father. I wish all kids could be as blessed as I was. Am.
So, May no longer is a time for sadness. It's a time for starting over, for feeling new again, for feeling happy for what my life has been and also happy for what my life will be in the future.
Life goes on. And life really is good.

2008-05-05 - 2:58 p.m.

Hello, Everyone!
I had a fantastic weekend! Saturday, a group of us went to this awesome tea room in a nearby town. I've been there a few times, and I just love this place. It's connected to a gift and floral shop, and I even found an awesome Mother's Day gift for my Mom--not an easy quest.
Saturday night, Andy and his friends had been doing some work for my Mom, who has 15 acres of land and needed some work done. She had invited me to join them for dinner. Only one of Andy's friends was able to stay for dinner, but we had such a great time. After eating, we got out some old videos from when Andy was little and had a great time reminiscing. His friend was in the videos whenever a birthday party rolled around, so it was fun for everyone.
Then, on Sunday, I mad ethe two-hour drive north to go to the house of my college friends whose son just graduated from college. Another of my college friends was there, too, and we had a great time catching up. I knew a lot of other people there, too. This was the family I went to Cancun with 3 yeas ago, so I got to see the whole group I wend with, and we talked about planning another trip. I also saw several of my friends' neighberos, all of whome I've gotten to know--particularly in these years since my divorce. I had such a FANTASTIC time. I also got to see my friends' daughter, who now lives in Denver. They're having another party in about a month for their daughter who is graduating from high school, and I can hardly wait. Then, on July 5, the son of one of our other friends is getting married and we'll all be going to the wedding. We learned there's going to be an open bar all night. I suggested we may just want to get a room nearby, and they agreed. It's gonna be a great summer with my college friedns!
Things are going well, otherwise. I'm talking with several guys I've met online. I don't know what will happen with any of them, but I'm having fun. There's one guy who is really interested in me. He lives probably 8 hours away, so I don't know how that all would work, but I am having fun getting to know him.
Well, I'd better get back to work for now. Have a great day.

2008-04-23 - 11:25 a.m.

Wow, I couldn't believe it when I signed in today and it said i hadn't updated in 76 days. Wow. Sorry about that...I occasionally pop in and catch up on everyone's diaries, but I guess I just haven't taken the time to at least say hello.
So, hello, everyone!
Things are going very well for me. I got back on the bandwagon with Weight Watchers and have lost 10 lbs. in the last two weeks, so I'm very excited about that. I even was motivated to join a local gym! It's actually one with a pool, too, and they offer water exercise classes which truly are the one and only kind of exercise I enjoy. I have a "health test" on Friday, and they're going to go through all the equipment with me. They also do some sort of test where they hook me up to a computer to see where I m strong and weak. Should be kinda interesting. Then, I guess I can get a workout plan that's tailor-made for me.
I have various prospects on the online dating scene. I'm talking ot several guys, don't feel really serious about any of them. But, I'm having fun talking with each of them and being lavished with all this attention. I'm finally getting a feel for what it's like to have a straight man attracted to me. I really am a desirable woman with a lot to offer a man. What a revelation! You know, it's one thing to know that on the logical side of the brain, and it's quite another to actually feel it on the emotional side of the brain. I realize how much I was denied for so many years and how cool it is to get this kind of attention now. I'm sure it will be even better when it can be a true, one-on-one relationship.
Well, that's it for now. BTW, I'm going to NYC this fall and have been trying to find a decent hotel at a decent price in the heart of everything. Whew!!! Suddenly, Chicago seems very, very cheap.
If anyone as any suggestions about where to stay, please let me know. Email me at wordy55@aol.com.
Take care,
Nancy

2008-04-23 - 11:25 a.m.

2008-02-06 - 3:10 p.m.

Instead of writing diary entries, I've been writing a lot of emails and chats to various friends and to some guys I've met online. I seriously have six guys who are very much interested in a relationship with me. Of course, they're all guys I've met online, either from playing Scrabble or from the Plenty of Fish dating site, so they live all over creation. However, two live within three hours of me. The others are scattered all over. And then, I have a couple of other guys who I've become very good friends with. It's all overwhelming.
First, the friends. I really like Marino, who I've talked about on here before. Sadly, he would be my first choice, but I think he sees me as more of a friend. He's from New York. The other friend is John, who lives in Southern Illinois. He's very sweet, but it's definitely a friendship for both of us. He is recently divorced and clearly still isn't ready for a relationship. I know how important a friendship is at this point, though, and I'm glad to be there for him.
Now, for the guys who are interested in me: there is Rob in Louisiana; Dave in California; Bergen in Pennsylvania; and Stan and Scott, who both live in Illinois. Of these guys, Scott, who I might have referred to as Hot Scott, is on the top of my list. We are talking about meeting in late February or early March. Stan would like to meet me...immediately...but I don't know. I just really want to give things more of a chance with Scott. I feel like Stan is too...something. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I just have this gut feeling that he is pushing too much for us to meet for it to be healthy. I'd like to get to know him better online and on the phone before we'd actually meet, and him wanting to meet me right now...and for me to be exclusive with him...it just sends up red flags. I mean, how does he even know what the chemistry would be if we were to meet in person. Then, of course, the others, we're just enjoying getting to know each other better knowing full well how far apart we live and just taking it slow.
Then there's Dave, this guy who has worked here for several years but how just moved into this building. I make a point of stopping by his office every day, generally on my way out the door. My office is at the end of the hallway upstairs, whereas I just casually pop my head in when I'm leaving or when I go downstairs for some water.
I was writing something on my calendar for next Tuesday, and it was the first that I realized that was our wedding anniversary. I think this is the first year I haven't dreaded that day. I wish I'd have a special Valentine's Day, but I know that's not likely as Hot Scott is the most likely candidate for that and he'll probably be working. But as far as our anniversary goes, I guess I'm so past the marriage now--finally--that the day just doesn't hold the special memory it once did. It's a nice day to remember in a way, but it just seems so far from what my life is today. Scott and I haven't seen each other in many weeks, and in fact, we hardly ever talk anymore. It's not that there's anything wrong. It's just that we both have our own lives now.
Speaking of my own life, it seems that I'm busy all the time doing things with friends and family. I saw a couple of fun movies last weekend: Bucket List and 27 Dresses. I've gone out to dinner with an assortment of friends in recent weeks, and all in all, I'm thoroughly enjoying life.
Last night, three girlfriends and I went out for dinner. We've started doing that once a month, and we love it. We see each other more often than that, but that's our night out.
Sunday night, I went to a small Super Bowl party at my friends', Steve and Jayne. Jayne was one of the people I was with last night, too. Tonight, my sister and I are going to a college basketball game. Friday night, we're having a Relay for Life euchre tournament. My friends Rick and Melodee were going to come, but I just got a call that Melodee's dad is going to have surgery on Friday, and they just found out this morning. Saturday, my friend Joy and I are going to Christine's to help her with wedding preparations.
Oh, and I'm absolutely in love with my new kitten, Ginger. I've had her over a month now, and I just can't get enough of her. She absolutely loves to be held, and you see sheer delight on her face whenever you pet or snuggle with her. She has captured my heart, that's for sure.
Anyway, life is good. It is so good to feel so content and happy again. It was a long six years, but I can honestly say I'm fully recovered from my divorce. That is what I'll celebrate this Feb. 12.

2008-01-29 - 4:10 p.m.

Sorry I haven't been good about updating. I just have to share this...Six, I know you'll enjoy it. My co-worker and I were discussing Bush's final State of the Union address. As my co-worker put it, "If I were playing a drinking game through the speech, and I chose the words 'stimulus, nuclear, and freedom,' i wouldn't have made it through the speech without getting drunk." To say we were not impressed would be an understatement.

2008-01-15 - 2:57 p.m.

Sorry I haven't done a very good job of updating here. Basically, life is good.
I'm enjoying my new kitten, Ginger. She's had a cold but seems to be getting better now. She and I were playing before I got up together, and she is so cuddly and affecitonate.
I had a nice weekend--much busier than I expected. I went to a couple of movies: National Treasure and Atonement, with friends, and on Sunday, I went with a friend to Christine's to help with her wedding plans.
I've had all sorts of guys interested in me, both on the Plenty of Fish website and from playing Scrabble online. The thing is, none of them seem to be just right, but it sure is a lot of fun flirting with them! All this attention makes me feel prettier and happier and a lot more self-confident, too.
I had lunch with my friend Jon yesterday--always a lot of fun. We got caught up on what happened over the holidays. I just have so much fun with him--I always walk away from our lunches with a big smile on my face.
I went to another movie last night with friends, one I probably wouldn['t have gone to on my own, but I thought I might as well tag along. It was "Water Horse," which is a story about the Loch Ness monster and is far better than I expected.
Andy and I have also gotten to spend quite a bit of time together, going out to eat, playing Wii, and...just talking.
I can't explain why, but I just feel a lot of happy anticipation. I think 2007 is going to be a very good year for me. I think with all this attention I've been receiving from guys that surely this is preparing me for the right guy. I'm content with life now, but it would be so wonderful to have a special someone in it. I am not lowering my standards, though. It has to be the right guy, or no dice. My life is too good to chance messing that up!
I hope your life is good as well!

2008-01-07 - 4:04 p.m.

Sorry I haven't updated here in quite awhile. My most exciting news is that I have a new kitten, Ginger. I've written about her on my other blog. Thats at nutrageous1103.livejournal.com. I promise to update here soon, too.

2007-11-29 - 9:56 a.m.

I just read a note from Six Weasels about Marino. I like him very much, too. I don't know what will happen there. He has a lot on his plate right now, but there's no doubt that he is a very sweet and kind man, and he is definitely a wonderful friend. I wish he didn't live so far away, but of course, distance is just a small obstacle.

2007-11-29 - 8:42 p.m.

Just wanted to say I had an awesome date with Rudy last night. I keep telling myself not to get too caught up in everything too fast, but it's hard not to. I'm in a VERY good moood!

2007-11-24 - 4:52 p.m.

I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving...except Flying Kiwi...I hope you had a nice Thursday! Do you have a Thanksgiving celebration at another time of year in New Zealand?
Anyway, I got out for about an hour to do a little shopping. I looked at the ads, but there weren't any buys that were worth getting up at the crack of dawn and battle the crowds for. I had a coupon for a department story where you got $10 off any item $10 or more, so I grabbed something for that, and I just got one other thing at that store. Then, I went to this smaller department store where I figured there'd be good buys but I didn't see an ad. As it turned out, they had extended their doorbusters, and I came home with about $75 worth of stuff.
Andy and I made plans to meet at this Mexican restaurant for lunch, and as it turned out. a family we're close to was there so we ate with them.
Cal, Scott's cat, is warming up to me and is doing very well. he still doesn't want to be picked up, and he's only jumped in my lap a couple of times, but we're making progress. he wants to be beside me, even if he doesn't want to be in my lap. He even jumped into bed with me this morning, but he was funny, because he didn't want me to touch him when he was there.
Clearly a gay cat. ;-)
Anyway, things are going well. Andy and I put up our Christmas decorations outside and got the tree up and lights on inside. Now, I just need to decorate it!
I hope you're Thanksgiving weekend is doing great!

2007-11-20 - 8:46 a.m.

I volunteered to watch Scott's cat while he's gone over Thanksgiving. I figured that's a long time for him to be at Scott's by himself, and plus, I've been experiening some cat withdrawal.

A win-win situation, right?

The jury's out on that one.

Scott brought him over last night. He's exploring around the house, probably smelling Pepper. I bent over to pet him at one point--I knew I didn't dare pick him up--and he hissed at me.

When I go to Scott's house, I observe the "three pet" rule. I can pet him up to three times, and then I have to back off because he will be biting. I can't do that much at my house--not yet, anyway. As Andy told his friends, he's meaner and more random than he is when he's at Scott's. That pretty much sums it up.

Anyway, last night, he pretty much hid out in Andy's room. Andy said Pepper had a favorite spot in his closet where she often slept, and we figure he found that spot and was hanging out there. I have to say, when we moved into this house, Pepper hid for a day and she was part of the family. So I have to give him a break. But Pepper never hissed unless she was provoked. She was scared by babies--really anyone under the age of 4, which is the age Andy was when we got her. But babies, if they cried, she'd run from the room scared to death--her fat tail in tow.

Cal is pretty jumpy at any noise. Scott was in the garage for somethign and pushed the garage door opener as he came in--that had him running. Then, he washed his hands at the sink at the sound of water running scared him, too.

This morning, I came out of my bedroom--he of course never made his way into my room in the night--not up in bed, anyway. He came out of Andy's room the same time I was coming out. He meowed and came up to me. I bent down to pet him, which seemed OK at first, but I let the pet extend on down his tail. He must not like to have his tail petted because he hissed and ran off. Or who knows? Maybe he was going to hiss anyway.

This is one cat with attitude. I hope he'll come around, but I'm not holding my breath. I'm just hoping I can work up to the three pet rule.

Bottom line, though, as long as he hisses instead of pisses everywhere, I'm OK with him.

2007-11-20 - 11:05 p.m.

I have to amend my earlier entry. Rudy called tonight.
I also met another neat guy on Scrabble tonight. Wow, this is really a lot of fun.

2007-11-19 - 3:58 p.m.

Well, things are ever-evolving with these guys in my life.
First, Friday night, John (this guy with whom I have a purely platonic relationship, but who was writing me last week sounding really, really, really suicidal) called. I was at a play, but he left a message telling me he is doing well and to not worry about him. He sounded good, and I was very relieved. I'm a little nervous, though, because he hasn't emailed me all weekend. He lives in a remote area where cell phone reception is bad, so I hadn't really tried to call him. I wait for him to call me when he's out and about. Hopefully, things OK. It was the one-year anniversary o fhis dad's death on Saturday...
Second, I got a long email from Marino, my Scrabble guy, the other day. He was telling me about the things he has going on his life lately. He was without a job for awhile, but he has one now--a good one-- and really likes it. He has a tumultuous relationship with his ex and especially his ex wife's family, and there have been some real struggles over their three boys. I don't understand why people can't put aside their differences for the sake of the children and understand that it's impossible to have too many people to love...and especially that it's so important for children to have both parents in their lives if possible. Especially when these boys have a father who loves them as much as Marino loves his sons. Anyway, Marino and I have talked and emailed some over the weekend, and he's even talking about coming to visit me. Of all the guys I have in my life right now, I am the most attracted to him, and yet, I think there also would be the greatest challenges there with things such as the boys. I mean, if things were to work out, I know I would love those boys as if they were my own. Yes, it would be daunting--he has an 8-year-old and 4-year-old twins, so for me it would practically be like starting over again, but I love kids and I would do it. Just as I believe Scott and I did a good job raising Andy, i know Marino and I would be great with his boys. But, there would be the challenge of the ex and her family, and certainly, there would be a lot of stress there. And plus, our relationship is far closer to that of friends than it is to marriage at this point. I'm just saying...
And then there's Rudy. Rudy, Rudy, Rudy. We played a little phone tag early in the week last week, and we emailed each other a couple of times. He wanted to see about getting togehter again, but then, I haven't heard from him since last Wednesday. He is just so bizarre. I thought maybe after we actually had a date and it all went well that maybe we'd have a chance to get to know each other better. His last email to me was a litle strange. He made some reference to me not feeling comfortable having him come to my house. I don't know. I didn't invite him back to my house after our first date--I mean, yeah, maybe I wasn't ready for that yet. But, I probably would have after a second date. He still wouldn't have gotten in the bedroom, though. I don't know if that's what he wanted. I guess I'm too old-fashioned for my own good, but when it comes to Rudy in particular, I am going to proceed very, very slowly because he just has flaked out too much for me to fully trust him. He so could have had me at the beginning. Now, he would have to earn the right to have me, and if he doesn't call me this week, I am totally, totally done with him. We'll see what happens.
The funny thing is, I'd have Marino stay at my house in a heartbeat. If he came for a visit, he'd be in my house immediately. The bedroom...maybe, probably...but as far as trusting him to be in my house, I trust him completely. Not so with Rudy.
Hot Scott, I haven't heard a word for him. I have a feeling that some day, I will. But really, i'd just as soon not. At least if he would want anything other than a friendship--and I don't think friendship is what he had in mind. You see, that's what I really like about Marino. He's the total package. I really do wonder if he'd be attracted to me in person, though. The advantage with Hot Scott was that he really is attracted to bigger women. He was hot, but he didn't want what most of the world thinks of as pretty. Marino, though, I just picture him being the kind who can attract the prettiest woman in the room, and the only way he's going to find me attractive is by seeing me on the inside and finding that beautiful and somehow that translating on the outside. I'm the "nice personality" gal. I kind of wondering if he's seeing that, but another part of me thinks maybe he just sees me as this really good friend. Marino is attracted to older women. He's 10 years younger than me, but I know he has said he likes women in their 50s because they're more "together." There's a lot of truth to that. I still don't feel totally together some days, but then, I think, who is?
You know, though, as Marino was telling me about how he has seen good things come from the bad things that have happened lately, it got me thinking about the good things that have come from my divorce. My good things are the many people I've met and the friendships that have become even stronger since my divorce. There are so many people I never would have met if Scott had been the guy I thought he was. For starters, I wouldn't have met any of the online friends I now have. I never had met anyone online before things started falling apart with Scott, and I doubt I ever would have started an online diary. Maybe I would have met Marino playing online Scrabble, but it would been a casual conversation and that would have been it. I've become closer to so many of the friends I already had, too, and I doubt if I would have taken the vacations I have with them, either. For next year, my cousin wants to meet up with me in Charleston and rent a beach house together, and some of my college friends want to plan a trip together. We never did that stuff when Scott and I were married, and I doubt we would have now. Sure, I miss not having someone special in my life, but I can't overlook the many positives that have come about, either.
Anyway, sorry for the rambling. Those are the thoughts going through my head today. By the way, I had a very nice, though busy, weekend. I think Thanksgiving weekend is my favorite time of the year. I love getting together with family, getting the Christmas decorations out, shopping, watching a Christmas show or two. This weekend has it all, and I can hardly wait!

2007-11-15 - 4:37 p.m.

Did you read the other day about Justice Sandra Day O�Connor and how her husband has Alzheimer�s and has fallen in love with a woman at the facility where he now lives? The story I read said that after a brief painful period, she is glad for her husband�s happiness.
The story goes on to tell how O�Connor wanted to tell this story, so others would understand the nature of Alzheimer�s. Her husband has completely forgotten her, yet he continues to have the basic need or desire for a relationship. The story also didn�t slight the husband. It talked about how he left his practice in another state when O�Connor was named a justice and practiced law in the DC area but was limited in which cases he could take because of his wife�s position.
I just think this is just such a love story. It�s amazing how what we sign up for and what we get can be far different for some of us. On the way into work this morning, two deejays were talking about some movie where the lead character tells his son, �It�s not getting knocked down that matters. It�s how you get back up.�
My hat is off to several of my friends who have gotten back up and are rebuilding their lives: Matt, who just got engaged this weekend; Pam, who has found the pure joy of sharing life with the man you love; my sister and several of my friends, who have battled cancer and have come out on the other side as survivors; the list goes on and on.
I hope we can always face what�s ahead with courage and determination, grace and dignity, and be able to look back on our lives with a sense of satisfaction.

2007-11-12 - 2:39 p.m.

Two entries in one day! With all this guy talk, I forgot to share a couple of recommendations I�m making after this weekend. First of all, on Friday night, I saw THE BEST movie I think I�ve ever seen. If you like �quirky,� like �Pushing Daisies� and �Northern Exposure,� you�ll love the movie �Lars and the Real Girl.� Here in my town, there�s only one theatre showing it. I have a feeling it will be like �My Big, Fat Greek Wedding,� and as the word spreads, it will have another resurgence. Be one who catches this movie the first time around. I have every intention of going to see this one again!
Second, the closest Cheesecake Factory to me is about three hours away, but on Saturday, I got to go to one. I now have a new favorite cheesecake from there. It�s white chocolate peanut butter truffle. Oh! Let�s just throw all my favorites together! Huge chunks of white chocolate and crushed peanut butter cups. Does it get any better than that? I don�t think so! I don�t want to think about how many calories I consumed. All I know is I had a little slice of heaven right there!
The best movie and the best cheesecake�how�s that for a great combination?

2007-11-12 - 11:20 a.m.

Sorry I haven�t written for awhile. Life has certainly been eventful this month!
First, my birthday was November 3, and I had a very nice one. Andy and I hung out quite a bit together, playing Guitar Hero. We went with Scott, my mom and sisters to see �Bee Movie,� then went to a new restaurant in town.
Things are getting interesting on the whole �guy� scene. After five years of being single, I�m finally getting noticed! Remember Rudy? Well, he�s back in the picture. He started calling me and emailing me about a month ago and even though he�s disappointed me a couple times when he flaked out on dates, he convinced me to give him another chance. I did, letting him know that if it didn�t work out for whatever reason, that was absolutely it�no more. But, it did work out, and Thursday night, we had an awesome date that ended with some very nice kissing. Yummmmmm. He tried calling me last night, but I had gone to bed early. Hopefully, we can see each other again soon.
Then, for about six weeks starting in early September, I was emailing, chatting, and talking to this guy I call Hot Scott, because he�s a fireman named Scott�and ooooh, is he hot! He�s 36 years old, which is younger than anyone I anticipated getting involved with, but he pursued me. Things were getting hot with Scott, but as much as I would love to make love to a guy, I want it to be someone who isn�t interested in sex only. I want a real relationship, and when we talked about meeting, and he started telling what�and particularly what not�to wear, red flags went up. I emailed him and said if he is only interested in sex, then please walk away because this would be my first real relationship since my divorce and I didn�t want to get hurt. I didn�t hear from him again until a couple days before the date I was to have with Rudy. In fact, as it turned out, Scott called me the very day that I was to go out with Rudy. Without going into great detail, let�s just say he has some issues that I�d rather not have in my life.
OK, so then, there was the date with Rudy, and on Friday night, I got an email from this guy I met online way back when Scott and I had just gotten a divorce. He was going through a divorce at the same time, and we would commiserate together. He�s from Dallas, and there never seemed to be a big spark there. However, there was a wonderful friendship, and we still keep in touch. Well, Friday, he emailed to say he was going to be coming through Illinois en route to visit his mother in Ohio and wondered if I�d be available for dinner. He called me last night to firm up plans. So, we�re meeting up tomorrow night. I�m very excited to actually meet him in person!
And now, this morning, I heard from my Scrabble guy, Marino. Marino and I had chatted probably a couple months ago. He was really down on his luck, very depressed, and I have been so worried about him. Even though we met online through the Scrabble site, we had each other�s phone numbers and home addresses, but didn�t have each other�s emails. We�ve just relied on seeing each other on the Scrabble site. That hasn�t happened since that one night, though, and the funny thing is, I sent him a note on Friday. He lives in Connecticut and there�s no way he could have gotten it already. Anyway, when he called today, he was calling from work. He had lost his job before, so I was so glad to hear he had one�and he says he loves it. When I asked him if he was OK, though, he said, �Ehhhh�� and told me he wanted to email me with everything that�s been going on. So, I gave him my email address, and I�m looking forward to hearing from him.
So, there are the four guys who are touching my heart these days. They all have their baggage, but each one is special in his own way.
I could bore you with other stuff going on in my life, but that�s the most fun part!

2007-10-30 - 3:39 p.m.

Things are in such turmoil here at work. There�s just a lot of weirdness going on, and somebody walked off her job today. On top of that, I�ve applied for a newly created position that�s still in my department, but all of this weirdness is making me wonder whether I should just stay put, where I know I�ll be out of the fray, especially because I learned yesterday that if I were to get this job, it would put me back in the basement.
That concerned doubled today when I went to the doctor about the CT scan I had of my lungs earlier this month. He said the spot is the same size and said it is most likely scar tissue and inflammation at this point. He said he�s pretty sure I had an infection from mold in the old office and after I moved out, the infection went away and that�s why I�m doing better now. The last thing I want to do is move back to the basement, even though this would be in a different office in the basement. If I were to get the job, I would have to tell them that due to health concerns, I would need to be located somewhere else.
They did call me today to tell me they want to interview me for the position. I go at 11 a.m. next Tuesday. I just pray that whatever is best for me is what happens. I honestly don�t know what would be best at this point.
I wasn�t going to tell Karen, my boss, that I was applying, but today, after all this craziness and everything, I decided I�d better tell her. I want to be honest with her; I just didn�t want her to get mad or hurt because I was applying for something else. I decided that if I approached her in the right way, it would be OK. So, after getting back from the doctor�s office, I went in and talked with her. It went smoothly, and she was supportive. I told her, too, that I really don�t know if I want the job, especially in light of all that has just happened, but I�ve decided I want to check into it and keep my options open. I figured that if she is any kind of a boss at all, she would want me to grow professionally if the opportunity arose, and I decided to just be upfront. So, we�ll see.
I truly believe this is a win-win situation, because there are pros and cons to both this job and the new one, and I just have to believe that I will be guided in the right direction. So please pray for me, or hope for good karma, or whatever.
Sometimes, I�d just like to leave here and get away from all the drama we have in our department. Until we get someone new at the helm, I know there will continue to be drama. On the other hand, I have a lot of time invested in this place�more time than I have left before I would retire. So, I think about the vacation time I�ve accumulated, and I think about the retirement package I have here, and I think about the great health insurance coverage I have here, and I think about how I believe in this University and how I like the way we educate and prepare students for their future, and I know this is where I belong.
I just have a lot to think about.

2007-10-29 - 10:53 p.m.

Hello, Everyone!
Just checking in. Things have been going well. I had a great, though busy, weekend. Saturday, I went on a bus trip to Indianapolis with Melodee. She lives about 45 minutes away and we had to be at the bus about 6:30, so I went over there Friday night and spent the night. I invited Sccott to meet us over there, too, and we all went out to this new Caribbean restaurant. It was a lot of fun. Then, back at the house, we played kthis new game I had played at a game day lunch and bought. It's called Letter Line-Up. It's a Cranium game you guy at Starbucks, and it was a lot of fun.
The bus trip was fun. I found a few things, plus we got to eat at the Old Spaghetti Factory, which is my all-time favorite restaurant.
I turned down an invitation to go to Christine's today. i figured I'd just be too tired to be taking another road trip today. It was busy enough as it was. This afternoon, I saw my buddy Elisabeth. She (and her parents) were back in town for the weekend, and I had bought some stuff for her for Halloween. Her birthday is Friday, the day before mine, and I realized when I was there that I should have brought a birthday gift, too. I think, though, that I'll send her a card with $5.55 since she's turning 5. I remember there was this guy we met one time when we went with Scott on a business trip, and he always sent Andy amounts like that on his birthday. Andy always got such a kick out of that, and I think Elisabeth would, too.
This afternoon, i talked to a friend at work who is having some difficulty with her boss. We met for a quick bite at Taco Bell, just to talk for a little while, and two and a half hours later, we left. She just needed to talk, and I was glad I could be there for her. I feel particularly bad for her because her mother just passed away, and now, she's having this trouble at work. I find it amazing how sometimes, everything dumps on a person all at once.
Anyway, that's about it. Hope the conming week goes well for you.
Hugs and kisses,
Nancy

2007-10-17 - 10:08 a.m.

OK, now I'm ready to talk about Pepper.
Pepper came into our lives the day after Christmas in 1987. It was about 10 p.m., and it was pouring down rain--I would later say it was raining cats and dogs. Andy was 4 years old and in bed asleep when we realized we hadn't fed our neighbors' fish like we told them we'd do while they were away. They also had asked us to put Santa's presents under the tree, so when we went over there, the plan was for Scott to feed the fish while I took care of the gifts. We heard what sounded like a cat meowing at the back door, and I asked Scott to check it out since he was headed that way. I went ahead and got the presents and then asked him about the noise. "It's a cat," he said. "Oh, what does it look like," I asked.
"It's a kitten," he answered, and I, of course, asked him to let it in.
As soon as the door opened, this sweet black kitten walked in, purring, and knew who she had to impress. Scott liked cats OK, as long as they were other people's. He was more of a dog person. Pepper worked her charm on him, though, and soon we were taking her home with us.
We had some sand in the garage and made a makeshift litter box. She knew how to use it, which of course, scored big points. Little would we know that she was never one to make a mess. The only time she did was when she got sick to her stomach and couldn't help it, but she wouldn't do it intentionally.
Andy remembers getting up the next morning and seeing Scott lying on the couch with a kitten on his stomach. We called the animal shelter, just to let them know we had her at our house in case she belonged to someone, but Scott was so confident that she was ours that he went out and bought a regulation litter box and litter, rather than sand in a cardboard box. It took us awhile to agree on a name, but we eventually settled on Pepper.
I think she left the Christmas tree alone that first year, but in the coming years, there were a few times when she toppled the tree with her adventuresome nature. Pepper and Andy loved each other from the first, and in a way, he treated her much like a baby sister. He would play with her for hours on end, and it was always playing, not tormenting. A hearty laugh would burst out, and he always had so much fun with her. Somewhere along the line, a tradition developed. Each time he went to the dentist and could choose a prize from the treasure box, he'd always choose a rabbit's foot for Pepper. She would play endlessly with them, tossing them into the air and chasing them. Whenever I would move the furniture, I'd find them scattered here and there, just beyond her paw's reach.
Pepper escaped from the house a few times, but her front paws were declawed and we pretty much kept her inside. She'd get her exercise by thundering through the house, running up and down the halls making an amazingly loud sound as she tore through. Another one of her favorite toys was a scratching post with Garfield with a fishing pole and dangling fish on the top. She would bolt through the living room and jump at that fish. The fish would swing violently back and forth and Pepper would attack it full-on, sometimes getting on her back and kicking with her feet. She was so much fun to watch.
Another tradition that Andy developed with Pepper happened at bathtime. Andy had a large plastic cup which originally was in with the bath toys because we'd use it to rinse his hair after shampooing. Pepper would come into the bathroom and sit on the edge of the tub while Andy bathed, and he started filling the cup with fresh water for her. After awhile, that became the only place where she wanted to drink. If the water got low enough that she had trouble drinking it, she would push the cup into the bathtub. That was our cue that she needed some water. She ALWAYS pushed the cup into the tub and never onto the floor. I'd like to think it was so she wouldn't make a mess, though it had the added benefit that she could lick the water from the bottom of the tub.
Pepper was always very cuddly, too. She loved to curl up in the lap of whomever happened to be sitting. If I was lying on my side on the couch, she'd walk along my side up to my face. She'd often sit under my underarm and I'd wrap my arm around her. At night, when Scott and I were married, she slept at my feet. After the divorce, she gradually moved up and up, finally finding her favorite spot where I could comfortably wrap my arm around her. When it was cold, she liked to get under the covers with me, and during the daytime, she'd crawl under the covers and you'd see this lump in the bed. It was kind of fun watching this maneuver, how she'd work her head and paws to get under the covers.
One of my memories at Christmastime was me putting out this Christmas village, and pepper jumping up there to walk through it. She looked like Clifford the Big Red Dog, only cat-style, and she could walk thrugh all the pieces, even the little people, and not knock anything over. It was amazing how agile she could be.
Shortly after our divorce, when Pepper was about 15, she started having liver problems and she was unable to jump very high. I bought step stools that I scattered throughout the house so she could get on the furuniture I wanted her to be able to get on--the couch, chairs, our beds. It was kinda handy because she could no longer jump on the counter or kitchen table. When we moved into the house we're in now, it was kinda nice because she no longer had to jump on the tub because I had a walk-in shower and put her water there, and I had a sliding glass door ont he back of the house and a floor to ceiling bay window on the front of th ehouse. She could look out in either direction without having to jump anywhere.
I remember our drive to this house. Pepper never did well in the car. She would be scared and get car sick, usually getting sick both ways, so I would always keep her in a carrier. At times, it seemed like she grew extra arms when it was time to get in the carrier. Funny, the only time she didn't get all upset was when we drove her to the vet that last time. It's as if she knew. And that time, I held her in my lap. I took a towel just in case, but I figured there wasn't anything in her to get sick on, because she had been refusing to eat for several days by then.
I'm not going to dwell on that day, though. There are so many happy memories of Pepper. She was never one of those aloof cats--well, Matt may have thought so because she didn't seem to warm up to him. I think that's because she had gotten a little clingy there when Andy left for college and Scott left, period. All of a sudden, it was just the two of us, and from that point on, she was friendly to everyone she had already met, but didn't really warm up to new people. She liked kids as long as they were at least about four years old, the age Andy was when she came into our family. If a baby was around, though, she was petrified and would run off with a fat tail if the baby started crying. But she loved Andy's friends, and my friends, and would socialize when they came over. If there were too many people around, she might duck out, but otherwise, she was in the thick of things. Even that last (full) Saturday at the Cubs party, she was out mixing with everyone and enjoying the attention. She was looking kinda bad that day, and I know she must not have felt too well, but she was the perfect hostess, nevertheless.
Thinking of Pepper and her fat tail, it was surprising sometimes what would spook her, but in her later years, her tail never got fat. I guess she'd seen it all by then, and nothing really phased her.
Still, she was constantly purring whenever she was around us, and you just knew she was really happy. We gave Pepper a good life, but Pepper added to ours in so many wonderful ways that we were truly the lucky ones.
These past five years, as I went through my divorce, I don't know what I would have done without Pepper. She was there for me when it just wasn't practical for anyone else to be there. If I stirred in the night, she was right there. Sometimes, I would just lie there and pet her, and she would touch my face with her paw as if she was petting me, too. She was just so incredibly sweet.
The trick-or-treaters always enjoyed seeing a black cat looking out the window on Halloween night. She always seemed to enjoy all the kids and the extra activity that night. I'll miss her this year; I'll miss her always, but most of all, I'll treasure her and the many wonderful memories I have of her.

2007-10-16 - 9:02 a.m.

The Rainbow Bridge
There is a bridge connecting Heaven and Earth
It is called the Rainbow Bridge because of its many colors
Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge there is a land of meadows,
hills, and valleys with lush green grass.
When a beloved pet dies, they go to this place.
There is always food and water and warm spring weather.
The old and frail animals are young again.
Those who are maimed are made whole again.
They play all day with each other.
There is only one thing missing.
They are not with their special person who loved them on Earth.
So each day they run and play until
the day comes when one suddenly stops playing and looks up!
The nose twitches! The ears are up! The eyes are staring!
And this one suddenly runs from the group.
You have been seen, and when you and your special friend meet,
you take him or her in your arms and embrace.
Your face is kissed again and again, and you look
once more in the eye of your trusting pet.
Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together,
never again to be separated.
--Author Unknown

The vet gave me this poem, along with a round clay plaque with an imprint of Pepper's paw.
Andy and I took Pepper, our 20-year-old cat, in to the vet on Saturday morning. Her body was shutting down and it was time to say goodbye. I thought I'd feel up to sharing memories about Pepper by now, but right now, it's just too hard. All I can say is, I was truly blessed with 20 years with such a wonderful cat. Many of my friends who knew Pepper have told me what a great cat she was and tell me they have great memories of her, too. My Mom gave me a headstone, and we buried her in the back yard. Scott came over to help, too.
The one thing I can say is, I honestly believe I prayed her into living two years ago. She had an ovarian tumor, she had stopped taking care of her fur, she just was not doing well. But then, it seemed as though the tumor burst and she got to feeling better. She knew I still needed her. I don't know how I would have gotten through my divorce without her. She was there when it just wasn't practical for anyone else to be. Only she knew how much I woke up in the night. And only she was there. And, she knew more than anyone that as much as I love her, I have healed so much and I am able to stand alone now.
People who don't own pets have no clue what a pet can do for a person. I keep expecting to see her walking down the hall, or coming up to my chair and jumping into my lap. She's still here in spirit, and my life was happier and fuller because Pepper was in it through all the ups and downs of the past 20 years.

2007-10-03 - 9:55 a.m.

I'm going to get to meet the guy I met on an online dating site a few weeks ago. We're getting together on Sunday, and I can hardly wait! I am sooooo excited!

2007-10-02 - 10:30 a.m.

I don't send alot of those "forwards" anymore, but yesterday, i received one that I liked enough to share. I can't believe the response I've gotten from many friends, so I decided to share it here, too. (Yesterday was a day that I felt very loved for a lot of reasons. I heard from several people, not just those I forwarded this to, and well, yesterday was just a very good day.)

TEQUILA & SALT

This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror
where one could read it every day. You may not realize it,
but it's 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world
that you would die for.

2. At least 15 people in this world
love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you
is because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone,
even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you
before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to s omeone.

7. You are special and unique.

8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

9. When you make the biggest mistake ever,
something good comes from it.

10. When you think the world has turned its back on you
take another look.

11 Always remember the compliments you received.
Forget about the rude remarks.

Remember this, too....when life hands you Lemons,
ask for Tequila and Salt and call me over!

2007-09-24 - 4:13 p.m.

How many women's ex's call them, and the topics are as follows:
A. My male co-worker, who answered my phone because I was down the hall, has a deep, sexy voice.
B. He just wants to tell me he's leaving on vacation now.
C. He wants to know how things are going with my new online guy.

This is my life now, and I'm happy where my life is and where my relationship is with Scott, but it just hit me today that wow, is this surreal or not?

2007-09-24 - 6:45 p.m.

I hadn't realized it had been over a week since I last posted an entry. Sorry about that. Things are still sizzling with the online guy, but we didn't get to meet last week. He's a fireman, and a couple guys called in sick, so they forced him into a double shift. In fact, he's been working double shifts every day this week. Mondays are his day off, but they're putting him on call, and since we live 3 hrs. apart, that's not going to work, either.
However, even though work is keeping us apart right now, this is so different from Rudy. He calls and/or emails me every day, and it doesn't matter how long he's been working. He just does it. He tells me that he thinks about me all the time, and he wants to me to know that when he's at work and can't call or email, he's thinking of me. In fact, we talked about how crazy this is, how it's hard to concentrate at work because we're thinking of each other. I had to chuckle as he told me about the things he's tried to think of to get me off his mind so he could work. Gutting a fish, for example...and he says it still doesn't work.
I don't know, he's just so expressive and pours himself out there so much. He tells me that as he gradually opened himself up to me, I erased all his insecurities, and now, he just want to share it all. The outpouring in a way reminds me of when Scott first told me he was bisexual. When he saw I wasn't going to turn my back on him, it was as if the floodgates opened. This new guy's name is Scott, too, so if I ever refer to him by that name, I'm not going nuts. But to make it easier, I'm going to try to refer to him as the online guy, the new guy, or Hot Scott (cuz he's a fireman, and is he ever hot). Honestly, I can't believe a guy this hot is interested in me. But I told him that it is so obvious that he is attracted to me and doesn't care what my age or my size is, that I feel totally comfortable with him. That's when he told me what I just wrote about. He said, "I have insecurities, too, and you have just wiped them away."
So, I don't know when we'll get to meet. He's so frustrated. He has even mentioned finding another job with more regular hours. Referring to all the overtime he'll be getting from the past week, he said it doesn't mean a thing if you don't have a chance to share it with someone you care about. I keep assuring him that I'm not going anywhere, and that if he's doing what he loves, then he should stick with it. To me, that just seems logical, but something tells me, that's not what he's heard before.
Maybe part of it is, I'm fine with mostly having my own life with an occasional spicing it up of having someone like him in my life. I like my time to myself, with my friends and family. Yes, I want to find that someone special, and maybe that will be him. But, at this stage in our relationship, I'm OK. I don't have to have him or anyone else with me all the time.
I've really come to enjoy my independence. I know I'd like "together" life again someday, but for now, just meeting someone and enjoying getting to know them a little at a time is fine with me.
I haven't even told very many people about meeting this guy. Maybe once we meet in person, I'll feel more like it, but for now, I'm very much enjoying it, very much thinking about him all the time, but I'm not talking about him much. It's funny, because this weekend, I've had at least two of my very good friends ask me what's new. These are some of my closest friends, and it makes me wonder if this is showing on my face. As close as I am to them, though, I told them nothing. It's too early to be telling too many people yet. So basically, you my online friends know; Scott knows (not a lot, but he knows there's this guy out there); and my friend Aimee at work knows. It's kinda bizarre, sharing these special things with other people I haven't met in person, but then, there's also safety in that.
This whole meeting people online, friends or more, is such a blessing. I find myself opening up far more than I feel comfortable with in person. I've met people in Baltimore, Atlanta, New Zealand...people I never would have met otherwise. And now, I've met a guy from Chicago who is turning my world upside down...virtually and in reality.

2007-09-14 - 3:25 p.m.

I am getting so excited thinking about Monday, I can hardly concentrate. We both agreed that going for a walk in the woods and just getting to know each other would be a great way to spend the day. There are a couple of state parks about halfway between us, and I was thinking it would be nice to meet there, maybe at the larger one with a visitor�s center. Or, if we want to meet for breakfast first, I read a review about a sweet little place�a house that�s been converted into a restaurant-- that opened about five months ago that sounds fabulous. So, we could go there, and then go to the park and walk around. And maybe I could bring a quilt that we could spread out and just sit and talk and�
We could spend the day getting to know each other, enjoy being outside on a beautiful fall day�doesn�t it sound wonderful? I was thinking I could maybe bring a cooler with cheese and crackers, grapes, water, maybe even a little wine.
I can�t think of a better way to spend a day

2007-09-14 - 1:35 p.m.

Hey,
Just wanted you to know I�m doing so, so, so much better today. This new guy I met on the dating website called last night, and we had a wonderful conversation. We�re both amazed at the instant connection we seem to have. He�s working all weekend but has Monday off (