2003-01-08 - 12:42 p.m.
Hello, Everyone,
I feel a need to explain why I'm excited yet anxious about Jon's party. i want you to know that it has nothing to do with him being gay...I hope you all know me well enough to know that a person's sexual orientation has nothing to do with how I feel about them, how I treat them, how I behave around them, etc. People are people, and when I choose friends, it's based on who I enjoy being with, etc., etc., etc.
What makes this so weird for me is that since last May, Scott has become part of a whole new world that I'm simply not a part of. He's asked his parents to go with him to church and meet his gay friends, but he hasn't asked me. He's introduced Andy to some of his gay friends, but he hasn't introduced me. So, even though I'm the one he's counted on for love and support through all of this, I've also felt like I must be an embarrassment to him.
So that's why all of this seems so weird. All of a sudden, I'm being invited, by a friend of mine, to catch a glimpse of Scott's new world.
And I'm not sure how I should behave, etc. I mean, it'd be much easier if I were invited and Scott weren't. Then I wouldn't need to worry about how to act around him. And probably, he feels the same way.
It's also weird, because I may be seeing Scott "in action," flirting with these guys...you know, being on the prowl. And I don't know how I'm going to react to all of that. It brings reality just that much closer. It's all been just things he's told me before. Now, I'll may be seeing him kiss other guys at midnight, and who knows what all.
And that's why all of this seems weird.
Hugs and Kisses,
Nancy
