2003-01-07 - 10:20 p.m.
Hello, Everyone,
I'm kinda excited, kinda anxious, kinda bewildered. I've been invited to my first party hosted by a gay couple...and their straight female friend. It's Jon, from work. It feels kinda weird...I'm a little nervous because I don't want to embarrass Scott, and yet, Jon is really my friend first. I mean, there's nothing saying Scott has to go, and then I'd just be one more person at the party. But Scott seems OK with me going...it's just so weird, almost like being invited to a party hosted by Andy's friends and you don't know how in the world you'll fit in, even though you've known the friend for years. I know Jon has a lot of both straight and gay friends, so it's not like I'll be the only straight person there. And since both of us work at the same university, I know I'll be seeing people I know from work.
It's still kinda weird.
Scott won't want to go to the party with me. And I don't even know how much he'll want to be around me. Chances are, he's going to know more people than I do, but then, maybe not, if there are a lot of people from work...and I know for a fact that several from work are going.
It's just hard to get around the chaos of all of this. I'm excited...I feel like this is a gay man who is accepting me, much as gay people feel about being accepted by straights. It's a victory of sorts, because I feel that this is Jon's way of saying he wholeheartedly sees me as a good friend, not just a work friend. Of course, I was really going out on a limb with him a year and a half ago when, at a time when we were really just work friends, I opened up my story to Jon and trusted him to keep it secret because that was before Scott had come out to anyone else and before he had decided he wanted to divorce me.
Anyway, the party is January 25. The invitation was an online "evite" and included multiple choice questions. This is a belated New Year's party, and we're supposed to go in "cocktail attire." One of the multiple choice questions was, "What's cocktail attire?" and one of the answers you could choose were, "two of my favorite things and something you put on a car."
OK...it's going to be an interesting night!
Hugs and Kisses,
Nancy
